I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
