When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
