and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
