I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Let's get the cat blown out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
