that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
