sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
