im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wanna passion pit in your ass
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
