I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
