Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
