I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
