watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
