Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
