I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
