i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
