Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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