I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
