Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
