he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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