The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
