you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
