therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So many bounce houses so little time
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Randomize
