her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
