Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
