my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
