i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
