Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
