College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
