So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
