Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
