butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
