I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
