Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
