I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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