I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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