Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
