Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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