My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
