Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
