Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
