there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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