i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
