There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
