all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
