my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
