It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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