i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
