Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
this is an emotional support booty call
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
