Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
