yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
