I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
